Monday, September 24, 2012

Week 3 of 6 Week Challenge

On September 10th I started a challenge that I made up for myself. My biggest problems are fast food and over buying junk at grocery stores. For six weeks I will not get fast food, or go to the grocery store by myself and buy junk. The first week went ok, didn't go out and buy new junk but was still working on the food I had bought previously. I think of a saying I read one time that "I can't start my diet until I eat all of my junk food." That's what I went through the first week haha, but I did lose a pound! My second week went a lot better!
I have the main goal for my six weeks, no fast food or grocery junk, but I wanted to do small weekly goals as well. For week two I worked out everyday for 45 minutes. I live at home and my parents have a treadmill. They bought it with their tax return but I am the only one who uses it! I'm just starting out slow and walking for now. I have a Kindle Fire and I stream Netflix when I walk, really helps the time go by. I'm watching a few shows right now and by the time I watch an episode of Gossip Girl I only have two or three minutes to kill on the machine. Monday the 17th was hard for me to get motivated but I walked every day last week! And for my hard work I lost three pounds!!!
My total weight loss so far is four pounds and I am out of the 230's! Now back to my "starting" weight of 228. Finally got my vacation weight off. I had a slip up yesterday, I bought a small fry at McDonald's! I didn't even realize it until today. I was going for a ride with my mom to see the fall colors and we got drinks at the drive-thru.(I got an unsweetened iced tea, no calories!) While we were ordering I wanted a small fry, but I'm trying not to beat myself up to badly. At least I didn't get a whole meal, and I was debating between medium and small and got the later. So for slipping up it wasn't too terrible.
I can't believe I lost three pounds last week, my food choices were not the best. On Wednesday night we went to Red Robin for my little brother's birthday and I didn't make the best choices, but I got the petite burger! I was having an internal struggle and realized that I don't need the huge burger, and there are more room for fries if my burger is smaller. :) On Friday I went to the Olive Garden with some girlfriends and ate myself sick. I was disgusted with myself at the end of the meal, and I a few "uh-oh I'm gonna blow" moments waiting for the check. Hopefully I learn my lesson and start taking half of my food home. My stomach was getting used to less food and I scared myself thinking about the pictures from Dr. Oz's binge eating episode.
I am not off to a good start this week. I want to try and exercise everyday, but today that wasn't possible. After realizing I didn't have time to exercise I was bummed. That makes me feel good because I was hoping with my weekly challenges they would help form habits. This week's challenge is to floss and brush my teeth every night. I have a hard time flossing and making the time to floss. Last time I went to my dentist he said I was getting the makings of gingivitis. I do not want that and I'm hoping this week will help me get my butt in gear with teeth health.
Not a great food day today but I am accounting for every calorie and tomorrow is a new day! Hoping for a loss this week, even one pound I will take. :)

Thursday, September 13, 2012

Starting Out

I have been trying to lose weight for most of my life. I noticed my "bigger than other girls stomach" when I was 12 and it's still hanging around with me. When I started 7th grade I learned a trick that if I suck in my stomach I look a lot thinner, and I have been sucking it in ever since. Sometimes I think that if I knew about anorexia and bulimia when I was 12 I would have done/tried those. I say try but anorexia would never had worked out for me, too much love for food. Bulimia I would have done and I did try it once or twice. I remember one time when I was about 20 I bought so much fast food, and when I was done eating I felt uncomfortable and I wanted to get rid of the food quickly. I tried using my finger but it freaked me out and nothing came out. I think one of my brothers heard me and I remember thinking I hope he didn't tell our parents.
I didn't seek out help to lose weight until I was a Sophomore in college. I was living at home while going to school to save money and my weight kept creeping up. I was 190lb(5'9") at 19(2005) and I never wanted to see 200 on my scale. My mom and I did Weight Watchers together and in three months I was down 15lbs. I was feeling better about myself but then life got busy. I was going to school full-time, working part-time, and in a sorority. I could not find time to make any of the meetings WW had. Looking back I wish I had made more of an effort but I can remember being stressed out about everything I had going on.
After getting down to 175lb and having a busy schedule I decided I could do WW on my own and get down to my goal. That did not happen and I gained back everything and then some. What I feared most happened, I was now 208lb. Eight pounds past my never zone! I can't remember how old I was but I was still doing school and work but I had time for WW meetings. I was in a really bad mental state and I was not losing weight at all. On my weigh in day I wouldn't eat anything so the scale would hopefully be lighter. Right after the meeting I would go to McDonald's and get a chicken sandwich meal with a large soda and not one but TWO large fries. Sometimes a McFlurry too. My reasoning is crazy, but I felt that if I could have fast food once a week it would help me with my feelings of hating life.
Right now I am 26 and I weigh 232lb. I am tired of how I feel about myself and I know I have to stop using food to feel better. I remember when I really started packing the weight on, it was May 2006 (I was 20) and  I signed up for Netflix. I got into a habit of getting McD's on the way home from work or school when I knew I was getting a DVD that day. I told myself "Katie you can't do this every time" but I had this uneasy feeling if I watched a DVD without food. I can't explain it, but if I was drug addict that's what I think it would be like. I am a food addict.
Starting 2012 I gave up soda pop for the new year( I haven't fully stuck to it but I hardly drink soda any more). I had been an online member of WW for a year and I started following the program again in January. I was 228lb and by March 2012 I was 218lb and getting excited. Then I went on vacation and when I got home I could not get back in the weight loss mode. I had a binge where I buy way too much food for one person at the grocery store, and when I saw the scale didn't move up as much as I thought it would I was having a weekly binge. I kept telling myself next Monday I'd do better. I decided to save my money from WW and found a free app that counts calories instead of points, myfitnesspal. I thought by keeping WW online I would get my butt in gear so I wouldn't waste money but sadly that did not motivate me enough. I am going to find my own thing, something that I will stick to for a lifetime.
I am tired of yo-yoing and I am ready to get to a healthy weight. I made up my own six-week challenge that I will talk about in my next post. I started it on Monday and so far it's going well. More on that later!